The Holidays

Friday was finally the holidays it was two weeks so let the fun begin. So at the end of the day everyone was running and screaming. The first thing I did in the holidays was going to Eden Park which was Blues vs Cheifs. It was a 1 hour drive when me, my brother and mum and dad got there it was a 15 minute walk because we park so far. When we got there I could see the whole stadium there were so many lights. At the start I got fries and a burger and sprite. At the end of the game Cheifs won 13-16. I cheered for Blues. The next thing I did was go to watch the Transformers Age Of Extinction at the movies. It was so cool we eat pop-corn, chips, and ice-cream. The next thing I did was going to Parakai Springs. It was like a swimming place there were two slides. I went on both of them 15 times and there was an inside pool and outside pool. The last thing I did was going to the motel there were hot pool and a big pool which was inside. But me, my cousin, sister, and grandma got scared because there was a power cut so we went back in the motel. For dinner we had burgers and hot chips.

By Christopher

Miss Dower: Great story Christopher! Sounds like you had  avery busy holiday. You have done a great job at showing your personal voice in this recount and sequencing your ideas. Remember when you are writing a recount it is in past tense as it is something that has already happened. I have highlighted a few words for you that are not quite in the correct tense. Can you see if you can edit these to be the correct tense for a recount?