Monday, 4 August 2014

the best game ever of soccer hip hip ha ray

                                                          soccer                                   
 On Friday the 1st of august  Howick primary had a soccer game against another school that I have no idea what there name is. They were easy at the beginning and then at the second half they were getting harder we tied 0-0 me and Aaron were getting tired because we didn't go off because we love soccer i as mid-field and Aaron was striker it was so fun i think that that was our last game. We switched goalie in the first half we had Quinn and in the second half we had Douggie he is the best in the school he saved all the goals we are happy to have him in our school without the goal keepers we would be in trouble and definitely lose all our games but my friend Henry was a winger he was left wing that was a fun game because we did not lose for once hip hip ha ray hip hip ha ray but sadly we lost all the other games. we should have won 10-0 to us i think our team is pretty good  


by Andre

Peer Assessor: Zoe "you need to work on capital letters and spelling other than that it was pretty good." 

Miss Dower: Well done Andre. Sounds like you are very passionate about soccer. Zoe has given you some very good feedback. There were a lot of spelling mistakes in your writing that I have corrected for you. She has also suggested you work on your capital letters. I have highlighted where I think your full stops should go - as you have forgotten to include them. Please go through and check this piece of writing again and correct you capital letters and full stops.

No comments:

Post a Comment